Why Christmas Sucks For Moms

“Mommy, I’m so excited for Santa to come to our house tomorrow!” I see my son’s face beaming with the type of joy that only a 6 year old can have. He has so much belief in magic and wonder in the world, and I want him to keep his innocence as long as he can.

“What do you think Santa’s going to bring you?” I ask him, excited for him to open up his new Lego set.

“Santa is going to bring me a green froggy!” 

Uh-oh. What is he talking about? I keep my face locked in a smile while talking to him about this green frog. When did we even start thinking about green frogs instead of panda bears? He talks to me about frogs for so long that I knew his whole heart would be broken if I didn't find a way of getting a frog toy wrapped and under the tree for him by the next morning. From “Santa”, of course.

It’s 8:30pm on Christmas Eve, and I’m lucky that Toys “R” Us is still a place and there is an actual store open nearby. An hour and a half later, I am back home with this green plush frog, ready to start eating Santa’s cookies with a large pour of “milk”.

Sound familiar? For many of us moms, this is the reality of Christmas — endless to-do lists, late night exhaustion, and the crippling pressure to deliver a flawless holiday experience for everyone. You know, the kind you see in those classic Hallmark movies where everything falls into place and joy is served on a silver platter.

In reality, it’s messy. Really messy.

Instead of carols and cocoa by the fire with angelic children , I’m running on fumes, while juggling last-minute wrapping, sugar-high kids bouncing off the walls, and holiday plans. There is little time or energy left for the joy we’re trying so desperately to create. 

Obviously, my kids are everything to me, and seeing that pure excitement on their faces on Christmas morning makes it all worth it. But am I the only one who feels like the most wonderful time of the year somehow brings out the worst in us moms?

The stress, the mess, the gifts, the parties — it’s enough to make even the jolliest of us want to put on a Grinch-worthy performance from time to time. 

 It has me thinking, are we truly enjoying Christmas, or are we just surviving it?

The "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (Except for Moms)

Let me set the scene for you: It’s past midnight, and I’m on my second hour of boxing gifts to make Christmas morning perfect for my kids. I should be feeling that holiday magic, but instead, I’m about three candy canes away from pulling a Grinch and stealing Christmas altogether. The “holly jolly” spirit? Yeah, it’s lightyears away. In fact, if I have to sit through one more loop of Mr. Grinch on the TV, I might just transform into the green grouch myself.

When the holidays roll around, moms don’t get to bask in the glow of twinkling lights and cozy firesides. No, we turn into full-time Santa's elves, gift-wrapping machines, and personal chefs with a side of therapist. It’s a magical season, sure, but the magic feels more like a sleigh ride of stress than a sleigh full of presents.

While every other adult is out there enjoying a holiday drink (or three) and watching their favorite Christmas specials, we’re running around like elves on triple-shot espressos, trying to make sure everyone has what they need... including the dog. Because, apparently, Fido deserves a holiday gift too.

 You know it’s bad when you find yourself searching for next-day ribbon delivery” at 2 a.m. Or when your Pinterest board has somehow transformed from ‘easy holiday crafts’ to ‘how to stay sane during Christmas’. Spoiler: there’s no such thing as staying sane, and you will never have enough ribbon.

So, while everyone else is wrapping presents in their festive pajamas, moms are wrapping up the entire holiday season in the form of a five-page to-do list that somehow never gets shorter. It’s like playing a game of holiday whack-a-mole: plan the dinner menu, check; decorate the tree, check; keep the kids from having a meltdown because they just found out Santa doesn’t actually live at the mall, double check.

It’s all part of the magic, right?

To-Do or To-Don’t

If you think I’m exaggerating, just ask any mom. During the holidays, we practically turn into faded versions of our former selves — not brimming with joy or "mom optimism," but counting down the hours, minutes, and even seconds until the New Year's ball drops so we can finally take a breath. Or at least take a shower.

Yet, before that moment of victory, we’re just another coach powering through the final quarter. That endless to-do list? It’s a mile long, filled with meal prep, holiday cookie recipes, frantic last-minute shopping trips, and all the inevitable “missing” items no one told you about until 8pm the night before. 

We’re just trying to keep it all together—because heaven forbid the festive napkins don’t match the dessert plates. Is this the 1950s? No. But will my mother-in-law care? Absolutely. That drive to check every item off as complete (and perfect) is not only relentless but somehow turns me into a holiday event coordinator during those dreaded six weeks. 

And for what? So everyone can bask in the ten minutes of chaos as wrapping paper flies, only for them to forget my carefully coordinated décor by dessert. In the words of Chandler Bing, "Could I BE any more frustrated?!”

Deck the Halls…and Empty the Wallets!

 The truth is whether you're a single parent or simply trying to keep a close eye on spending, there’s no season that tightens the financial belt quite like the holidays. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), U.S. adults report feeling extra pressure this time of year, with nearly nine in 10 (89%) saying they worry about not having enough money.

I adore my kids, but it’s impossible to ignore the heavy weight of holiday expectations. Between shopping for gifts and planning festive meals, the drive to pull off the “perfect” holiday can stretch anyone's budget thin. And for many of us, it’s a constant juggling act, trying to build memories while still minding the bottom line.

But it’s not just the big-ticket items that add up. The little extras — stocking stuffers, matching pajamas, last-minute cookie ingredients—pile up quickly, leaving us stressed and scrambling to keep things in check. As we all know, holiday budgeting doesn’t always go as planned. 

Mom guilt is real, and I’m right there with you.

Findings from a NerdWallet study found that 48% of parents with young children admit that guilt leads them to spend more than they should on gifts. And while that sparkly, over-the-top toy might light up our little one's face on Christmas morning, it also lights up our credit card balances. 

Nearly 38% of parents say they'll go into more debt than usual just to make sure the gifts are there. And for 12% of parents, buying gifts means pushing off regular bills to cover the holiday expenses.

Like so many moms, I feel that unshakeable pull to make the season magical, even if it means a few sacrifices along the way. 

The Unseen (and Often Unappreciated) Work

If you're fortunate enough to have the budget to go all out during the holiday season, there's still the undeniable truth that moms are the ones working behind the scenes to make it all happen. It's unpaid labor — actual work. 

 And, despite all we do, a staggering 79 percent of moms feel invisible in their roles, and an even more shocking 95 percent feel unappreciated, unacknowledged, or unseen on a daily basis according to a new study. Can you imagine? And this feeling isn’t even just during the holiday season.

How can we be the heart of our families and still feel like we’re on the sidelines? Why is it that the endless tasks we take on blend so seamlessly into the background that they go unnoticed? And perhaps most importantly, what would it look like if we didn’t do it all?

Most of the time, no one notices how the coffee cake magically baked itself or how every last piece of tinsel found its perfect spot on the tree—without a single strand out of place. It’s as if Christmas just appears in a burst of holiday cheer.

Creating the holiday magic isn’t easy, and it’s certainly not quick. But the work we put in is often invisible, taken for granted, or overshadowed by the twinkle and bliss we’ve organized for others. And seriously: a little “thank you” or, dare I say, some help, would go a long way.

Don’t we deserve some magic too?

Moms are the Magic

To all the moms out there, take a moment to give yourself some credit (and maybe a spiked hot cocoa). Yes, the "most wonderful time of the year" may be a little less "Martha Stewart" and a little more "Midge Maisel" —but that's okay.

Between the glitter-filled craft projects, the Amazon return adventures, and creative elf-on-the-shelf scenarios, we're pouring our hearts into creating those memories that our families will (hopefully) cherish for years to come. 

So this year, let's give ourselves permission to embrace the chaotic moments too — even if it means putting our feet up for a quick TikTok scroll, leaving the room during that 18th round of “Frozen 2”, or simply giving ourselves a “day off” from holiday responsibilities. 

After all, we are the real MVPs of the season, so let’s claim that trophy (and maybe a nap).